Hey guys, I'm 21 today! On such a beautiful day too - the weather is absolutely gorgeous!

I'm exhausted, nervous, anxious, and sick to my stomach.

Please, Hunter, do your best today. We haven't had enough time together - you can't go back just yet. And, unfortunately, that depends all on your behavior today.

Today, might've been one of the worst days that I've had to experience in a long time.

For over 8+ months, I had been on birth control - the pill to be exact. I was prescribed, Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo and after being on that for awhile I stopped it (partially because I was too lazy to get a script for my prescription). Recently, I've decided to go back on it and so I made a call into my doctor and she called a prescription in to my pharmacy for Ortho Tri-Cyclen. There's only a 5g difference in the amount of estrogen in Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo and Ortho Tri-Cyclen, so I thought I'd be fine taking it, especially after stopping Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo for a few months.

After only 9 days of being on Ortho Tri-Cyclen I began to experience serious chest problems. A pain would swell up in my chest and cause me to stop breathing and experience an unbearable pain in my chest. The next day I called my OBGYN and asked her about the chest pains, since the pill was the only medicine that could be causing the pain. She told me to stop the pill immediately and go to the ER, although when I was on the phone with her I thought she said if I got another chest pain to go to the ER. So I forgot about the chest pains and went to my OBGYN appointment like normal that next Friday. I explained to the doctor what happened and she looked at me with a shocked face and asked why I hadn't gone to the ER. I explained the situation and she told me to go to my family doctor as soon as possible. I made an appointment for the following Friday (which would be today) and, once again, explained everything that happened. My doctor immediately referred me to the hospital and explained that I could possibly have a blood clot or a pulmonary embolism in my lungs which could cause me to drop dead at any moment.

I went to the hospital right away and was instructed to get a CT scan of my entire lung field with contrast. The CT scan with contrast meant that I had to get an IV injection of a dye that causes contrast to show up when the scan is performed. But because my veins in my arms are so small, I spent over an hour with 3 different nurses trying to get an IV into my arm. The first nurse poked me with the needle and couldn't get a vein and pulled out after digging in my skin with the needle for a few seconds. She asked another nurse to try and get vein. This nurse was the WORST - I had never experienced such PAIN with a needle before. He stuck the needle into my left arm, where the joint bends, and he spent over 5 minutes with this HUGE needle in my arm digging and trying to find a vein. I was screaming with pain and crying my eyes out. The only pain that I can compare this to was when a doctor cut an infection out of my toe with a scapel and no anthesthia. Eventually, he pulled the needle out (after not succeeding at finding a vein). The group of nurses decided to call an IV specialist, whose job is to stick people with needles daily. She came down and was the nicest woman ever. She poked me once, broke through the vein (bruising my arm) and immediately pulled the needle out. She also used a smaller needle which was significantly less painful than the other one that the other nurses were using. After that, she tried one more time to break through a vein in my hand and she succeeded in doing it. So the IV was set up (after what seemed like forever) and I was moved to the CT scan room.

I was instructed to take off my bra and lay on a table. They gave me a saline solution to hydrate my body, since I had been heavily dehydrated the whole day and then procceeded to give me the scan and the contrast. The contrast gave me the weirdest feeling in my body. It was this incredibly warm substance that after only 30 seconds of being in my body, I IMMEDIATELY began to feel this warmth in my bladder. It had felt like I either peed my pants on the spot or had to go to the bathroom so bad - the nurse warned me of this sensation so I tried to ignore it the best I could but it was such a WEIRD feeling that I couldn't help but worry! The scan was really quick so I was only in the CT scan roon for a maximum of 15 minutes. After the scan was done my father and I got coffee, muffins, and cookies at the coffee stand in the hospital and waited for the results. They came back with negative results - which meant that I don't have a pulmonary embolism!

So the next step to find out what is wrong with me is to get an assload of blood tests, which I'm getting done tomorrow. Which means more needles and a 12 hour fast. But I guess it has to be done, so there's not much I can do about it. Anyway, after all that was done and over with I drove back home and passed out in bed for a good 3 hours. I woke up and registered for classes at which the same time my mom came home. At around this time, I began to get this really major itch in and around my ears and on my head. I thought it was dry skin and so I ignored it. I went downstairs to greet my mom and she asked me what was on my face so I looked in the mirror and discovered that I developed a rash. Over the next few hours the rash began to get worse and and burn and the itching on my head and ears began to get worse. The first thing I thought of was that I was experiencing an allergic reaction to the contrast dye they gave me - and sure enough that's what it was.

So after all this shit I've been through today, my body decides to be an ass and top it off with a painful and annyoing allergic reaction. So for the rest of the night I have to be careful and keep an eye on the swelling to make sure that it doesn't spread to my throat/air-passageways. The day is finally ending now and I couldn't be happier. Hopefully, tomorrow, my blood tests won't be as painful and all the tests will come back negative.

Also, this whole fasting for 12 hours is stupid. I'm hungry. :(

EDIT: I miss my Hunter puppyface. :(

Ok, wow. Talk about being stuck between a rock and a hard place.

So my little baby and I are finally together. Hunter is the most gorgeous little German Shepherd to walk this earth. He's so adorable and I can't say he's done ANYTHING at all to drive me nuts! He just sleeps and lays with me, making sure to follow me if I leave to go anywhere at all. Since the moment my Area Coordinator dropped him off, he's had nothing but anxiety if I'm not around. Currently, he's sleeping under my chair but we're going to bed verrrrry soon and hopefully we'll sleep all through the night, seeing as how we had a very busy day and many visitors. Now, on to the pictures.

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Wow...just wow. What a fucking dick. I hate him and have every right to do so.

For my birthday, we decided to have a toga party. We planned it all around our Resident Assitant's schedule (who happens to live down the hall) and we've never had any problems with him before. Until last night when he called the Resident Assistant on duty on us and busted my fucking party. The party had hardly begun (meaning we were NOT loud, AT ALL), we had less than 10 people in the apartment (people were still trying to put on their togas), and only two bottles of liquor were sitting out. Oh and everyone had very little to drink (I had two sips of a malted beer), because we hadn't even begun to drink.

Now, I have to go meet with the Resident Director to tell "my side of the story" and get fined for the fucking liquor in a "dry aparment."

When you're down, life really knows how to kick you in the ass.

My computer is broken! Viruses ate it! It's in the shop now, so don't expect comments or updates from me until the end of this week.

Oh and I got my iPOD! It's a Black 30GB Video iPOD and his name is Yamino.

Ok who just got back from Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire and has NO ONE to talk about it with because it's 3AM? That'd be me.

I have so much to say, but gee golly I have class tomorrow!

I know it's a bit early to start this but I need to get an idea of how many cards I need to print up and send out.

This year I'm actually drawing my holiday cards and I'll be printing them professionally on super expensive glossy paper. If anyone wants one please leave a comment with your name and address. All comments are being screened so you don't have to worry about creepy people getting ahold of your address or anything (besides me of course).

I'm also willing to send out cards overseas so don't hesitate to post Australians!

Everyone keeps doing this little thing on deviantArt so I figured I'd fill it out too, only on here.

So here's 20 random/stupid facts about ME!

1> I'm obsessed with Bufflo Chicken Wraps (with extra blue cheese and hot sauce).
2> I have a mass of original characters, my favorite's being Lyoko and Cake.
3> I don't like chocolate. I despise it.
4> My openCanvas is so messed up that the only way I can use is is by keyboard shortcuts, otherwise it closes on me with no warning.
5> I have straight hair but I perm it every 6 months.
6> I go to a neurologist because I get super bad migraines.
7> I love my roommate.
8> I have insomnia and take medicine for it.
9> I like to sleep alot though, but it never seems to happen.
10> I visited Germany and had the most amazing time of my life, EVER.
11> I'm studying to be a psychiatrist.
12> I've played the viola for 10 years and the cello for 2.
13> I like to drink green tea.
14> I will eventually own a red vespa (PX200).
15> I will soon raise a puppy to be a Seeing Eye dog.
16> I have a really bad memory and forget to do EVERYTHING.
17> I really suck at drawing.
18> I like to drink alcohol and party!
19> I think drugs are disgusting.
20> I've worked at Hollywood Video for an obscene amount of time, but I really dislike working there.

Uhm, that's all for today I guess.

I've been waiting forever for Paradise Kiss to show up on DirectConnect so I didn't have to waste my download limit! I'm so happy because it finally showed up last night! I just finished watching it and I must say that I really have nothing bad to say about it. I think it's really well done and looks EXACTLY like the Ai Yazawa's unique style! I'm in love with it.

I've been so sick lately. Just about the same time a month ago I had this same type of sickness. I went to the health center last month and she diagnosed me with a sinus infection. I went to the health center again the other day and she said she found it odd that I had the same symptoms again, so she classified what I had as an "upper respitory cold." This time she decided that she wasn't going to give me an antibiotic, she decided she wanted to give me a pill to get me coughing up the mucus in my lungs. And then she informed me that it'll take a week for me to get better and I'll probably start feeling worse in the middle of the week until it starts to let up by the end of the week. How wonderful is that? Hah, it's not.

I hate school. I really do. I feel like I study and try so hard on these exams and I just don't do well. I recently failed my biology midterm after studying for over 10 hours. I studied all the material and yet here I am, still failing. I'm failing biology lab too. I try just as hard for that. But I really blame the fact that I'm failing on the fucking TA. She's such a grading nazi and won't budge on her grading even if she knows she's wrong. For example, one of my answers to a question was "diabetes mellitus, renal tublar damage, etc." I had put down, "diabetes, renal tublar damage, etc." I got the rest of the question right but she marked me off for the whole question because I missed the "mellitus" part. She's such a bitch.

I'm currently looking for hosting for equinoxstudios. We've been a studio for years now (we've even attended a convention together and made a decent profit) and we're currently looking into getting back into the online world. Back when I had sweet-tactics.net we had a huuuuuuge website in the planning, but since I lost s-t.net we lost the site as well. If anyone can provide us with hosting or can point us in the right direction for hosting we'd be really appreciative!

I have yet to fix my layout. I think I'll be doing that soon. Not like you guys care...

There's artwork below the cut.

( Chang-Er )

I need to buy a domain so bad, but I have no money to do it. I'm moving into my apartment soon so I have to save in order to afford anything for that small damn block of space. I should sell artwork.

I found out today that in the state of New Jersey you have to own a motorcycle license to drive anything that has an engive bigger than 20ccs. That would include a vespa. Which means another 9 months until I have the time to get a damn motorcycle license. I want one so bad, I could so easily afford it too. Fuck, New Jersey. In order to even own the damn thing you have to own a motorcycle license! I'll be test driving one soon as long as I can find the time to drag my father to the vespa shop, since he's the only one remotely near that has a motorcylce license. I haven't even visited the shop yet, but I hope he sells older used models. I want an older model, not the new ones. They look too snazzy, with my luck and driving I'd crash the thing and I'd hate myself forever because my snazzy new-model vespa would look not-so-snazzy.

I'm rambling because I'm hungry. Sorry.

WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU PIZZA-MAN!? MY STOMACH IS EATING ITSELF.

[edit]Oh my fuck, the pizza-man just called. He's fucking lost somewhere and I have no idea where. He can't even speak english. Someone shoot me.[/edit]

[editx2]I want to cry. He called again, he's still lost. My 13 year old brother is trying to give him directions, I don't think he understands him either. I guess that should come at no surprise.[/edit]

If anyone can get me Nine Puzzle from ShoujoMagic.net I will love them forever. I'm just too stupid to use IRC (I tried too)!

I followed Nine Puzzle all through Ribon and I even tried translating it myself, after it ended I forgot about it but now that I see it's being translated I'm so excited! I just hope I can somehow get it!

Note: I kicked ass at that LAN party. Don't mess with Shelly the sniper in Battlefield 2!

So over the past few days, I've been starting to feel a little bit better. I've been trying to get out of the house rather than sit around and contemplate what happened. In case you were all wondering what the cause of my last angst-filled post was, I had recently broke up with my boyfriend. I know some of you were concerned (thank you guys) but I'm fine. I'm just having trouble getting over the breakup. But all of you who commented really brightened my day, I really apperciate it. I heart you all!

In order to not sit at home I had attended an anime party, which was being hosted by a friend of mine, where we watched the first four episodes of Golden Boy. I had seen Golden Boy before, but watching it with a huge group of guys and a select few girls was just slightly amusing. The anime showing was intended to go on for hours, but it seems that only two hours was enough time to occupy everyone. But on the way out I managed to borrow my friend's Read or Die DVD and I have to say it was AWESOME. It was so well done and creative that I'm actually thinking of buying myself a copy. Or watching my friend's compy numerous times until it's burned into the retina's of my eyes. I think the first option might be more practical though. But that's how awesome it was.

Tonight, I have a LAN party to go to. I'll be the only girl there. I'm pretty excited because they think I'm just going to sit there and do nothing (they don't think women can game), but they're totally wrong. I'm gonna kick their asses in a bunch of games that we'll be playing. I know it'll be a ton of fun I just hope I can stay up long enough for it! I have to leave the house by 6:45PM tonight and we should be playing until about 10AM (or later) the next day. That's alot of game playing! Thankfully, I switched shifts someone at work so I don't have to crawl into work that day as a zombie.

Overall, I am feeling better though, though not perfect. I still have trouble sleeping at night, but it's all getting better. Thanks again for your concern guys!

Note to missdeep: I'm not sure if you read my journal or not, but I haven't heard back from you after sending you my comic page. I was just wondering if you recieved it or not! I also meant to tell you in the e-mail that I had exaggerated their emotions so you could get an idea of how I deal/draw with them. I totally did not get the emotions from the script, but I figured I'd exaggerate them just to ber sure.

I GOT MY HOUSING AND I'M LIVING IN THE STARKEY APARTMENTS WITH AIR CONDITIONING AND HEATING AND A FULL KITCHEN! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH HAPPY DAYS!

Whew, I'm glad I got that out. Yeah, so I got my apartment. I'm so incredibly excitied that I already e-mailed all my apartment-mates too! My apartment comes with a bathroom with a full-size bathtub/shower, two sinks, and a toilet. It also comes with a fully-furnished living room with cable and internet connections! The kitchen is fully-furnished too! It comes with a table and four chairs as well as cabinets, oven, sink, and a full-size refrigerator! I can't wait to go back to school.

I actually have plans to do stuff this year too! I'm going to join the Kendo Club! I'm going to actually join a SPORT!

Since I was tagged by the lovely Valeria, I had to fill this out. Besides, I find it interesting.

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This day took a turn for the worst. I woke up, well...rather got out of bed since I could not sleep at all last night to get ready for work. After getting ready, I hop in my car and turn it on - only to find out that it WON'T start. I tried countless times, I even called my dad and tried more countless times and just gave up since the damn thing obviously has no intention of starting.

So not only did I get no sleep at all but my car has officially died. A great start to a great day.

So I got a text message yesterday from my best friend Esther that read, "Guess who just got engaged on Mackinac Island XD." So, interested I replied and said, "WHO?!" Esther replied back with, "...ME!"

My mouth must've dropped to the floor. I think I might've screamed and then immediately proceeded to run down the stairs and announce to my family (practically in tears, might I add) that MY BEST FRIEND just got engaged. I'm so incredibly happy for her and this makes my trip to Michigan (in August) something that I can't hardly wait for.

So...CONGRATULATIONS ESTHER!

I can't wait for the wedding (whoooo, I'm the Maid of Honor)!